FEARFUL DREAMS OFTEN INCLUDE A REALITY CHECK — the thing we fear must be accepted. Today’s dreamer has an emotional example.

Dear SMYD,

I live here in California; left Arizona thirty-two years ago. My mom and stepfather still live in Arizona, and my mom has been having heart problems. They live in a rural area, 45 minutes from the closest hospital. The town they live in has a population of 900 and very limited resources for medical care. I keep asking my stepfather and brother what is going to happen if she has a heart attack, but I don’t get a response. I am feeling guilty because I am not there. I have a strained relationship with my stepfather.

Here was my dream last night: I was sitting in my mom’s house, talking with my mom. My stepfather and brother were in the room, but on the other side of the room. As I was talking with my mom, one of her eyes started changing from its normal blue to yellow. (Right before I went to bed I watched “X-Men,” and in it, Mystique’s eyes would turn to this same color of yellow when she was turning into her mutant self from her normal self.)

Then the color disappeared altogether and mom’s entire eye was white. I turned to my stepfather and brother and was trying to scream at them to do something, but no sound would come out of my throat. My stepfather then started telling me how he had followed all the correct steps to get her help. I was panicked and angry that they weren’t doing anything, or even taking the episode seriously.

Signed, Frightened Daughter

Dear Frightened Daughter,

Your dream’s setting mirrors the dynamics in your family, with you and your mom together on one side of the room and your brother and stepfather on the other side. You say that most of all you want to be assured that they have a plan in place to care adequately for your mom should an emergency arise. You scream at them but are not heard, just as in waking life. Even when your stepfather offers a detailed description of the steps he has taken on her behalf, you are not at ease. No matter what he says, you don’t trust or believe that he will do all the things you would do if you were there.

The fact that your mother’s eye reminds you of Mystique’s when she turns into her mutant self is telling also. Mystique, as is appropriate to her name, is unknown and unpredictable. She doesn’t engender trust. Similarly, you cannot be sure that your mother won’t have a heart attack and leave you feeling guilty.

Your dream underscores your sense of fear and helplessness. You are in the untenable position of having to trust her to stay healthy or him to do all the right things. But you must trust, Dear Dreamer — or move back to Arizona.

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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