Somehow, I got caught up in the drama of “The Bachelorette” with JoJo and Jordan several weeks ago. There was no way that I could detach myself from the final choice on Aug. 1, 2016. It was because of the impossibility of any relationship being substantial after so much press, universal scrutiny and absurdity that I launched into my own fanciful drama.
What if there was a spin off titled “The Widower”? There truly is about one male left standing to every 20 females- that is reality. The man would be 75 and his choices would range from 70 to 75. This is part of the fantasy because any man worth his salt wants a woman 40 to 60 when he is between 70 and 80 years of age.
So what does this series look like? The man still has his hair, can stand erect and is able to transport himself without a walker. He has all his faculties, unlike Mr. Donald Trump, and has had an interesting, full and successful life up to this point.
Back to reality, all the 20 women would do anything to land this hunk. What do they have to lose? The level of cutthroat could be very entertaining, however, this is my fantasy. In my fantasy, all the women are like my women friends- still beautiful, appealing, successful, intelligent and utterly alluring. Let’s call our manly man Herman.
Herman gets to go on dates with these lovely women, becoming more and more confused. At this age he can hardly remember any of their names. As he gives out the roses, he frequently is seen running after the woman who he has sent home asking for their phone number in case things don’t work out so well with his final choice.
Dating can be a problem as physical feats of prowess would have to be eliminated if the widower is to make it through to the show’s conclusion. Concerts, museum visits, plays, lovely moonlit dinners, short walks and drives in the countryside would be on the agenda, providing time for Herman to get to know the ladies as he moves to his final choice.
Of course, there is no meeting with his dates’ parents as they are long ago deceased. He would have to meet with their adult children who he would realize have a great deal to say about their mother’s possible mate. They would be scrutinizing him as to his intentions, asking questions that would determine if he is after their mother’s money or expecting her to take care of him should he become ill. Of course there is the off-chance that she does not have children, then the scrutiny would be the responsibility of the siblings. The same would be true when his last two possibilities meet his children or siblings.
When Herman decides who is the love of his life at 75, he will need to work out the particulars. Where will they live? Whose children will they live near? Will they marry or live together? Will they live apart and visit frequently? They will have to design a relationship that works in their waning years.
I can see our audience being intrigued looking into life in the third quadrant of life. However, they might be a little squirmy when the couple make out. They may find the shows of affection distasteful. All those wrinkly bodies, faces; all those knobby knees; all those swelling ankles and sagging body parts.
Personally, I think this look into life after 70 on a wide-screen TV could break down some of the barriers we of the grey-haired group find as we become invisible to the young and still beautiful (and they are beautiful). They might actually find they have something to look forward to in their aging- things like wisdom, intelligence, and best of all finding a lasting love once more.

Ellen Blaufarb is a marriage family therapist.

Sharing is caring!