SAVE MORE WATER, DADGUM IT. Do it for the greater good. My wife is currently on a tear to save water. I’m hiding in my den writing this because I accidentally dumped a half-glass of water into the sink, and now she’s bending my ear. I’m an idiot. I could have poured that water on a houseplant, or into one of the three water buckets we now have stashed around the house, one in each bathroom and one on the front porch.

I too am trying to save water, but Susan has been reborn. She recently had some straight water talk with Elizabeth Patterson at our Mexican Luau, and I think Sue got converted. Liz laid her healing hand on Sue, chanted “Waste not!” and Sue walked away a believer.

Currently, they’re both prodding me to do all I can with my keyboard to save water.

Benicians have a daunting task ahead. We have been ordered, commanded, instructed by the State Water Resource Control Board to save 28 percent more water than we used in 2013 or else face stiff penalties. That will be tough and will require everyone’s contributions.

In 2014 we used 144 gallons per person per day, which was a reduction of 21 percent over 2013, and that was after a lot of restrictions were imposed. From January to March of this year, we’re down only by 24.9 percent, which is great, but with a goal of 28 percent, we have got to try harder.

We do have some recent numbers that show we are down to 105 gallons per person per day, so there’s a chance if those numbers are approved that we may only have to cut by 20 percent. But to heck with that. I’m a happily married man and wish to remain so. I say we shoot for 30 percent and make some permanent adjustments.

My wife, I love her. I envy her will power. She walks her 10,000 steps every day. She eats her greens and eschews sweets and snacks. She saves everything, be it water, leftovers, used furniture, or cash. Then she makes me do it.

Here’s what we are doing in our home to save water. First of all, we are letting the grass die. All sprinklers are off. Grass is first to go. It’s a wasteful irony. We grow it, feed it, water it extensively, then cut it down. What a destructive cycle. Grass is a luxury us desert dwellers cannot afford. I have completely turned off my sprinkler system and am letting my grass turn brown.

My neighbor Manny’s yard is much deader than mine. I’m jealous, but I’m trying to keep up. My friend Bud Donaldson got rid of all his lawns. He went xeriscape with wood chips and pallet walkways. I may get there myself.

I’ve given up on my backyard garden. I suck at gardening anyhow. I was dripping for 15 minutes three times a week and not harvesting the crops. My zucchini grew to the size of Macy’s Day balloons. I only ate the onions. This year, I’ll spend that water money on green groceries.

We stopped using our drains. We have a pan or pail in every sink. If we need hot water, we store all the cold that comes first. If we rinse off a fork, a plate, or wash sticky off our fingers, the water goes into a pan. When the pan is full, it gets poured into the front-porch bucket, which gets poured onto our camellia and azaleas. At the end of a meal, our partially full water glasses go to the pan. We shower with a bucket between our legs. We use the bathroom pails to flush the toilets. Excess goes out the window onto our hibiscus.

We just got our water report in the mail. Good news! We are saving equivalent with the best. On energy consumption, however, we suck. That is our current focus, to save energy as well as water.

There are cash incentives for saving.

Together PG&E and Solano Water are offering a $150 rebate to people who purchase new Energy Star washing machines. Our washer and dryer are 30 years old. We keep them only because they’ve never broken.

Then there is the Solano Turf Replacement Program. You can earn $1 per square foot up to 1,000 square feet for replacing your grass with water-resistant plants or xeriscape.

Years ago while studying the history of Lake Tahoe, I read that divers found large tree trunks embedded into soil 1,000 feet below the surface. That indicates that California has experienced some severe droughts in the past, droughts that lasted hundreds of years, bad enough to evaporate over 1,000 feet of lake water and leave it dry long enough for large trees to grow.

This water saving adventure is not a 2015 experience. I believe it is a life change.

Steve Gibbs teaches at Benicia High School and has written a column for The Herald since 1985.