By Wesley Heberling
Special to the Herald
My name is Wesley. I’m 11 years old, and I got a concession on Oct 15, 2017. I was at a skate park when a teenager hit my scooter from behind and I went flying. I had no chance of bracing my fall. It happened so fast. I hit my forehead, which doctors call the frontal lobe. I don’t remember any of the accident. I am writing this paper to let you know why it’s important to wear a helmet. Because even with a helmet, you can get hurt.
It feels weird to have a concussion. Things that used to be easy for me are really hard now.
My memories are flashes. It’s like looking through a viewer where you’re only seeing pictures and not having any idea where those pictures came from or when they were. Do you know when you have a dream and go to tell someone about the dream, but you can’t find the words and then the dream goes away? That’s how I feel right now. That’s me every single day.
I can remember the last three days, but on the fourth day I lose some of those memories. If you talk to me and ask me if I remember, I’ll say yes every time because it feels uncomfortable not knowing and not having that memory anymore.
When anyone talks to me, it’s hard to understand what they are saying because I’m thinking of so many other things, like the sun is really bright. Is it going to hurt my head? Did I feed Max? When can I play baseball? Look at that bird. I want to scooter. I want some pizza. Who can I play with? When can I go to Spain? I want to be a YouTuber…All in the moment, you ask me a question but I can’t focus on what you are saying. Too many things are flying in front of my face.
On normal activities like brushing my teeth, I think I have already brushed my teeth but then I find out I haven’t and I forgot. It also happens with my dog. I will tell Mom I already walked him, but I haven’t. I just don’t remember. It even happens with the TV remote. I think I click the remote, and nothing happens only to discover I didn’t click it. It’s very frustrating to think you did something and find out you haven’t.
I get headaches too, and I never know when I will get one. I wish friends could understand how hard this is. Sometimes I even wish I still had the scabs all over my face. If I look hurt from the outside, people are nicer to me. My mom keeps saying you never know what someone might be fighting or dealing with. Just because you can’t see anything on the outside doesn’t mean something is not going on in the inside. I think she is right.
Sometimes Dad gets mad at me, and I don’t know why. He said I need to act my age and I don’t understand how I’m not acting my age. Mom said I do things that I used to do when I was 6 years old, and it’s hard for people– even family– to remember I’m hurt and still healing. She said I’m very impulsive right now, and that will change. It just takes time for me to heal.
I’m really creative with this concussion. I come up with crazy stories in my head, stuff I never thought about before. It’s just hard to share them. The stories come in and go out fast. They are really funny. I start laughing, and everyone wants to know what I’m laughing about but I can’t tell them. They are just like the memories. When I go to tell someone, it disappears.
You see, I’m still healing. I have a long road ahead of me. I did the responsible thing though: I wore a helmet. What if I didn’t wear a helmet? Where would I be?
Wesley Heberling is a Benicia resident.
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Dear Wesley, This is a wonderful article and thank you so much for telling us your story. You remind us about many important things: how to treat people who have been hurt, to remember to wear a helmet, to have patience and understanding. You will get better. Your article proves that because, if your brain wasn’t working pretty well, you would not be able to write such a wonderful article. Hang in there, be patient and all will be well.
Hey Wes,
I’ve known you for a great many years and even if you don’t remember me, I remember that you are a tough kid and a fighter. Time will heal and I know with each passing month things get a little better. But it’s slow going and I know how frustrating that can be, when you’re used to doing things so well and quickly.
Write a note to yourself to remind yourself every day to have patience with your parents. There is nothing more terrifying to us, than to see our children sick or injured. And that fear can make us very grumpy, to everyone and sometimes even to the very person we love the most. The really weird thing is that more love that is there, the more fear and anger that our loved one is hurt. It’s very hard being a parent.
Please know that everyone out here is pulling for you and know that even when you do all the right things, bad stuff can happen. But you will come out of this stronger than ever, your brain just needs time to heal.
Wow, what a great article Wesley. You did a great job putting into words what you are feeling and experiencing. I also got a TBI and you did a much better job telling people about it than I could. Keep up the good work and don’t get discouraged. Take the time you need to heal.
Best wishes for your continued recovery.