By Judie Donaldson

Well, “IT” is officially here. By that, I mean the holiday season. It’s sad that what marks the official start of the holidays across our country is Black Friday, the epitome of commercialization. Although I tried, I could barely evade the news reports – of melees, brawls, black eyes, arrests, and even women coming to blows (which, for the life of me, is still hard to grasp). I’m not inclined to watch television, but I can only imagine that television news shows were replete with photos of some pretty unbelievable scenes.
I feel relieved that I grew up in an era in which both the culture and my family marked the holiday season with meaningful traditions. I think that this is an advantage of being seventy-something in today’s world. Those of us who are in the wisdom stage of our lives have an opportunity, even a responsibility, to play a role in ensuring that important traditions and values are not forgotten, not only in our families, but in the larger society.
We don’t often think of ourselves in this way, but this role, our role, is particularly important in a society that is undergoing the fastest change rate in history. Carquinez Village represents an action that a group of seniors took to maintain the values and essence of a community in which people are connected and support one another. We are fortunate to live in Benicia, where many share these values. The Carquinez Village volunteers, for example. There are 40 of them who have made a commitment to helping others they don’t even know. Not once, not twice, but on a regular basis.
But, let’s go back to the holidays. I want to share a couple of stories about how two other seniors took steps to do their part to both protect the meaning of the holidays and support their communities. I think of these two initiatives as antidotes to the Black Friday phenomenon.
First, there’s Phil. He was a business associate of mine in Pittsburgh, PA. One December day when he was in my office, he looked at his watch and quickly headed for the door, saying, “I need to get home to take care of the “Dresser Top Foundation.” “What on earth is that?” I asked. And so, Phil explained. He described how most men, at the end of the day, take the change from their pockets and place it on their dresser tops. The next morning, as a part of getting dressed, they return the change to their pockets. It’s a common routine.
But not for Phil. He never puts the change back in his pocket. Instead, he allows it to accumulate over the year. Then, in December, his five grandchildren come over and count the money. Collectively, they decide which nonprofit organization will receive it, and pile into Phil’s SUV to deliver it. Over the years, the Foundation has both benefitted 18 organizations and taught Phil’s grandchildren about the meaning of community. And guess what? The kids are growing up now and are contributing to the Foundation themselves!
In contrast, the second story is about Don, a friend who has no children or grandchildren. He and his wife, Millie, always celebrate the holidays with Millie’s parents and sister. Year after year, all five have lamented that none of them needed anything for Christmas, but they felt responsible to come up with gifts to put under the tree. After many years, well into Don’s retirement, he decided that he would no longer shop for gifts. He had another idea. He located four envelopes, inserted some money and a note in each, and placed the envelopes on the tree.
The notes read something like this: “Over the next year, use this money to support a person or persons or a nonprofit organization in need. You can give the money to one person or organization or divide it among a few. Next Christmas, write a note telling us what you did with the money. Put the note into an envelope and place it on the tree. Until then, keep your giving a secret.” It’s years later now, and you probably won’t be surprised to know that Don’s idea has become a meaningful holiday tradition for his family.
You may have noticed in my writing that I like being inspired by inspiring seniors! There are so many, like Phil and Don, who are doing their part to maintain important societal values, including meaningful holiday traditions.
I want to end by recognizing the Carquinez Village governing board members and other community leaders who are making this commitment day in and day out, all year long. They are examples of what are referred to as “servant leaders,” individuals who model a form of leadership based on a dedication to others. They also exemplify Winston Churchill’s well-known perspective that, “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” I am grateful to all of the “givers” and community caretakers – those I mentioned, those I didn’t, and those I don’t even know. Thank you.

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