AS ALWAYS, DEAR READER, I’M TRYING TO IMPROVE MYSELF and pass on pain-free, life-enhancing tips to you, so that you are spared anguish and trauma in your everyday living.

You’re welcome.

In today’s altruistic quest, I have explored strategies for decision making and encountered dilemmas for your consideration:

Conundrum #1

If you’re not supposed to make decisions when you’re hungry, then how can you opt out of your mid-afternoon snack?

I say you cannot.

Take this afternoon. There I was, minding my own business, folding clothes and watching “Homicide Hunter” Lt. Joe Kenda smart off about a suspect in his droll way when my stomach launched its own line of questioning. “Where’s my snack?” it demanded.

Back in my naïve days, I would have put that impudent organ in its place. “You can’t talk to me that way!” I would have declared. “I’ll ask the questions here!” Or I might blindly have followed the advice of Jessica Simpson and delayed my snacky-mouth gratification.

But cutting-edge research offered here to you today says we cannot make sound decisions when we’re hungry. Oh no! We should eat something to effect good snacking judgment.

I’m referring, of course, to the latest from Gwen Moran, co-author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Business Plans.” Now she’s written an article for ClearerThinking.org called “7 Ways to Stop Making Bad Decisions.”

Using our snack/no snack scenario as a test case, and following Moran’s initial recommendation, prior to choosing abstinence or indulgence we must embrace our “inner skeptic” when it comes to advice we are offered from “experts.”

That’s right, Ms. Moran, the expert, in effect tells us to be skeptical about her very own expert advice that we shouldn’t make decisions on an empty stomach. Which in turn means go ahead and nosh that nosh.

Yet, once we’ve munched, thereby establishing sound footing on which to make a solid decision, we look back and see that our butts are too big and we shouldn’t have swallowed that snickerdoodle in the first place!

To support her contention, Moran cites research indicating that when judges are hungry, they tend to hand down harsher punishments. So, if you get in trouble, try to get on the pudgy judge’s docket. Or something like that.

In her directive, Moran says, “Never just assume that what you’re being told is always true.”

Such absolutes make me hungry, and without food I’m lightheaded and so confused I don’t know whether I should never assume that eating must precede a decision or always know that that is an arbitrary conclusion.

Here’s a good one: Our environment can influence our decision-making. For example, in one experiment, when investors were given identical financial information on a red background versus a green, they were more favorable to the red.

OK … looking for a practical application here … Got it! Hide the chocolate in a green bag! Less favorable right? Or would that equate to a green light saying go, go, go? That’s what got me into this predicament! It’s crazy-making.

Conundrum #2

According to Ms. Wiseguy, getting enough sleep is also a big factor in decision-making. When you’re tired you’re not likely to make the best decisions, says she.

I couldn’t agree more. So I took a nap before writing these last few paragraphs.

Now let’s see if I have this right: Jon Stewart is in the middle of his opening rant. I’m bleary-eyed. The house is dark and the cats are tucked in. But I shouldn’t trust my decision to go to sleep because I haven’t had enough sleep to decide?!

Of course! That’s what the sleep timer on the remote is for! Needing sleep will not stop me from making a sound decision to sleep! I can hold off on that decision in 30-minute increments, pretending I’m still awake, alert and listening.

Then — stay with me here — without erroneously deciding to do so, I will accidentally fall asleep, gaining the necessary rest, so that when the TV turns itself off and wakes me up, I can make a sound decision to go back to sleep.

There you have it, Dear Reader. Better living through science.

Whew. I’m plumb tuckered out! And a little hungry.

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and retired high school principal. Read her blog at thinkdreamplay.blogspot.com.