By Richard Lubin

THIS WEEK’S DEFINITIONS WILL TAKE a slight departure from the norm. A “mondegreen” is a misheard or misinterpreted lyric or phrase. It sounds nearly alike but has a different meaning. The word was coined by Sylvia Wright, an American writer, when she related how as a child she misheard a line from the 17th-century ballad “The Bonny Earl O’Moray”: Instead of the actual line, “They had slain (him) and laid him on the green,” she heard “Lady Mondegreen”.

“The point about what I shall hereafter call mondegreens, since no one else has thought up a word for them, is that they are better than the original,” Wright wrote in 1954.

As a child in the first or second grade, I took a very special, personal interest in the Pledge of Allegiance. I thought and recited “… on which it stands” as “Richard stands”.

Here are some other common, and amusing, mondegreens:

The Rolling Stones’ “I’ll never be your beast of burden”: “I’ll never leave your pizza burning” …

“I pledge allegiance to the flag”: “I led the pigeons to the flag” …

Jimi Hendrix: “Excuse me while I kiss the sky”: “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” …

Tom Waits: “Doctor, lawyer, beggar-man, thief”: “Dr. Laura, you pickled man-thief” …

“Blowing in the Wind” by Bob Dylan: “The answer my friends”: “The ants are my friends” …

“Bone marrow transplant”: “bow and arrow transplant” …

With a female dog, three daughters and a wife, I commented that such a surfeit of females was the “cross I had to bear.” My wife wanted to know what a “cross-eyed bear” had to do with anything.

James Brown: “Say it loud, I’m black and I’m proud”: “Say it loud, I’ve got a cow” …

Elton John: “Hold me closer, tiny dancer”: “Hold me closer, Tony Danza” …

Madonna: “Like a virgin touched for the very first time”: “Like a virgin touched for the thirty-first time” …

Beatles: “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes”: “The girl with colitis goes by” …

Eddie Money: “I’ve got two tickets to paradise”: “I’ve got two chickens in fried rice” …

The Killers: “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus”: “He doesn’t look a thing like Cheese Nips” …

Queen: “Another one bites the dust”: “Another one rides the bus” …

Jon Carroll: “My Bonnie lies over the ocean”: “My body lies over the ocean” …

Jon Carroll: “I’ve got spurs that jingle jangle jingle”: “I’ve got sperms that etc.” …

Psalm 23: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”: “Surely Good Mrs. Murphy shall etc.” …

“The Charge of the Light Brigade”: “Half a league, half a league, / Half a league onward”: “Haffely, Gaffely. Gaffely, Gonward” …

The suggestion that a column be devoted to mondegreens was Alice Yuwiler’s. You, too, are encouraged to contribute; your ideas are welcome. No definition has to be unique as words, not too surprisingly, have many meanings.

Use Devilsdefinitions@gmail.com to submit definitions to be included in future columns. Identify yourself, name and phone number, and indicate if you want your name printed with your definition. Thank you and enjoy.

Richard Lubin is a Benicia resident.