It had been a tough day at work, so by the time I rode the BART train out of The City and to Pleasant Hill, then drove home to Benicia, I was ready to turn on the TV and disappear into some mind-numbing TV. I grabbed the remote, sank into my favorite chair and as Fate would have it, it was a dog food commercial. We’ve all seen it, years go, some immense dog is ambling across the room towards us, the camera is set low and captures both his immensity and the full details of him or her “Slurp-slurping” into his or her dog food dish. It’s pretty disgusting. I said to my wife Janice across the room (who’s always doing something constructive, like making dinner), “That’s how I feel, like a dog food commercial.” It was too good a line to throw away, so I grabbed a nearby pad of paper and wrote:

Dog Food Commercial

Lately I’ve been feelin’
like a dog food commercial.
Lately I’ve been feelin’
like my heart’s in rehearsal,
for the bottom of the food chain,
at the bottom of the Bay,
but if things don’t get any better,
I’m just blowin’ away.

Not to worry, Mom,
it’s just another song,
something to buoy me up
when my day’s goin’ wrong,
from the bottom of the food chain,
at the bottom of the Bay,
but if things don’t get any better,
I’m just blowin’ away.

She says that I should take
another tack into the wind,
but lately things are so tacky,
I don’t know where to begin,
from the bottom of the food chain,
at the bottom of the Bay,
but if things don’t get any better,
I’m just blowin’ away.
If things don’t get any better,
I’m just blowin’ away.

Well, things got better with the writing and singing of that song, we video recorded it with 11 others in 2005 at “Listen and Be Heard Poetry Cafe” on Marin Street in Vallejo, converted it to DVD sometime later and uploaded it to youtube.com in 2012. It can be seen and heard at www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMdiJKUSGz0

Courtesy of Peter Bray

Songwriters NOTE:
I had to add that line about my Mom in there since my younger brother Jim in Northern California was concerned about my mental health years ago when he heard my song “Buy The Farm” and noted to my Mom in a phone call, “Is Peter OK?” Naturally, Mom called me and asked, “Are you OK? Jim’s worried.” “No, I’m fine, it’s just a song, I’m having fun, they’re all Cheap Therapy from the ravages of the day.”

Cheap Therapy

See, for instance,
this is how it goes:
You can write a song
while you’re blowing your nose.
Just inhale a bit,
and an idea will come in.
Sure as a pollen falls like snow,
that’s the way it goes.
It’s like there’s fertilizer in the air,
of course you have to be Alert
and not fall for every Clue,
and there’s things you have to do
while operating this kind of Zoo:

1. Feed the animals
2. Take out the you-know-what
3. Follow all the rules
4. Keep the parking lot clean
5. Keep pad and pencil anywhere
_ _ you might lean.
6. Keep your Day Job!
_ _ This is a must!
7. You have to have some Real Income
_ _ or you’ll blow away like dust.
8. Hang a sign in a window: Cheap Therapy.
9. Keep track of all who call.
10. Send me any extra money you get.
11. Advice like this is never Free.
12. Good luck!
13. Send me a card or e-mail,
_ _ _ tell me how you’re doin’.

Peter Bray lives, works, and writes in Benicia, California
and has written this column since 2008.

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