DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR? No? Me neither. This revelation occurred to me the other day as I was turning on my laptop. It was during that uneventful period where your computer tells you it’s “Resuming Windows” (which maybe wouldn’t take so damn long if it simply resumed rather than spend its […]
It Occurs To Me: Orderly disorder
I HAD MY LIFE IN ORDER — UNTIL THE OTHER NIGHT. That’s when Loretta cleaned off the dining room table. OK, here’s an open question to women: Why is it that, after we guys work so hard to get all the stuff we might need within arm’s reach, you feel compelled to move our stuff […]
It Occurs To Me: I hate to camp
I HATE CAMPING. It’s dumb and the ground is too hard to sleep on in the summer, and too cold in the winter. Plus there’s stuff crawling on that ground in both seasons. Not that there’s anything wrong with that stuff — au contraire — the stuff totally belongs there. It’s me who doesn’t. I […]
It Occurs To Me: Grand theft at the Sprouse Reitz
I’M A THIEF — OR AT LEAST I ONCE WAS. Did you ever steal something? I mean really steal it — as in put it in your pocket and walk off with it — even though you knew full well it belonged to somebody else? Well I did (don’t judge me), and here’s how it […]
It Occurs To Me: Book smart
JOHN AND I HAVE BEEN POLISHING UP HIS BOOK, “Online Dating Sucks … but it’s how I fell in love,” and I have to say, I married one stubborn guy. Allow me to take you back a few years. In January 2012, John was feeling pretty darn proud of the six months he had been […]
It Occurs To Me: Sorry
HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN SOMEONE FOR GRANTED? Of course you have — we all have. But have you ever taken someone for granted who was so close to you that you didn’t even realize you were doing it? And maybe you didn’t realize because they’d had your back for so long you lost sight of […]
It Occurs To Me: Commune building
I WANT TO START MY VERY OWN COMMUNE. Well, maybe commune isn’t the right word. I think I just want all my people close to me. This last weekend John and I had our wedding reception. This isn’t the first marriage for either of us, and at our age there are no parents paying for […]
It Occurs To Me: Blinded by the light
WHEN I WAS IN THE NEW HOME CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY, back when there was a new home construction industry, I led a different life than I do now. It wasn’t a life I had aspired to — more one that I’d wandered into. And, honestly, I was probably in a little over my head. But that […]