DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE INTERNET IS FOR? No? Me neither. This revelation occurred to me the other day as I was turning on my laptop. It was during that uneventful period where your computer tells you it’s “Resuming Windows” (which maybe wouldn’t take so damn long if it simply resumed rather than spend its […]
It Occurs To Me: Orderly disorder
I HAD MY LIFE IN ORDER — UNTIL THE OTHER NIGHT. That’s when Loretta cleaned off the dining room table. OK, here’s an open question to women: Why is it that, after we guys work so hard to get all the stuff we might need within arm’s reach, you feel compelled to move our stuff […]
It Occurs To Me: I hate to camp
I HATE CAMPING. It’s dumb and the ground is too hard to sleep on in the summer, and too cold in the winter. Plus there’s stuff crawling on that ground in both seasons. Not that there’s anything wrong with that stuff — au contraire — the stuff totally belongs there. It’s me who doesn’t. I […]
It Occurs To Me: Grand theft at the Sprouse Reitz
I’M A THIEF — OR AT LEAST I ONCE WAS. Did you ever steal something? I mean really steal it — as in put it in your pocket and walk off with it — even though you knew full well it belonged to somebody else? Well I did (don’t judge me), and here’s how it […]
It Occurs To Me: Color me gone?
I’VE BEEN DESCRIBED AS MANY THINGS. My husband John likes to call me a hippie. I guess that is sort of true. I do want a commune, I like that the sexual revolution freed people to express themselves, I’m pretty liberal and I am all about eating organic, non-GMO, healthy food. I like my blue […]
It Occurs To Me: Book smart
JOHN AND I HAVE BEEN POLISHING UP HIS BOOK, “Online Dating Sucks … but it’s how I fell in love,” and I have to say, I married one stubborn guy. Allow me to take you back a few years. In January 2012, John was feeling pretty darn proud of the six months he had been […]