MANY TIMES DREAMERS HAVE IDEAS about the context and meaning of their dreams. Today’s dreamer has a good handle on what her recurring dream says to her in her moments of weakness.

Dear SMYD,

I think I need a straightjacket! I keep having these dreams that I can only remember snippets of, but they are all similar. In them, I’m either experiencing vignettes of dead people or “Albert,” my ex, showing up. I remember the dreams because I’m happy until I see him, then I’m not. In fact right before I woke up this morning I saw him holding a box of jewelry. I just remember being upset and saying, “I’m not getting back with you, Albert!”

Albert wasn’t very talkative in reality. He doesn’t speak in the dreams either, but in one vignette he was just standing there among a bunch of children. When I acknowledged seeing him, he smiled this really oversized, phony smile with oversized, phony lips.

FYI — When I was 10 years old, Albert was my first love. I adored everything about him and held on to that memory until we were married 42 years later. After we married, we argued all the time because Albert disliked all three of my children and my grandkids! I’m wondering if that is who the children in the dream are? They were elated when he took off. So the people that I knew and are now deceased equate to the death of the relationship that my subconscious is processing? Have I lost my mind or is this trying to tell me that I’m starting a new life without him and I have accepted he is no longer a part of my life? I think the child in me may be experiencing the greater difficulty as opposed to the “adult” me.

Signed, Feeling Cuckoo

Dear Cuckoo,

I don’t think you need a straightjacket! If you make a note of your recurring dream when you have it, you will soon see that it most likely recurs when you have spent time looking back at your past relationship with Albert, perhaps having some misplaced nostalgia. This is part of the process of accepting that he is no longer a part of your life. The key word is “process.”

You mention that Albert “took off.” This presents an abrupt ending to your marriage, the most intense of personal relationships. Rarely do we conclude an intimate emotional relationship in a snap. It takes time to work through the change and adopt a new outlook on life. It’s normal that you would reflect over time as you begin to turn forward and embark on a new life.

In your dream, Albert holds some jewels, perhaps trying to tempt you to get back with him. Maybe these represent the children and grandchildren he was unkind to. His false smile may be indicative of his trying to make you believe that he’ll be a nicer guy to your kids if you would only take him back. You answer him clearly. Stand your ground, Dear Dreamer!

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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