DREAMS OF LOVED ONES WHO HAVE PASSED AWAY are often reported near to the event of their passing, sometimes repeatedly, sometimes even years later. Like all dreams, these “visitation” dreams may have multiple meanings for the dreamer. They also present the question as to whether we can accept them literally.

Today’s dreamer offers a poignant example of these emotional — and, typically, comforting — dreams.

Dear Carolyn,

I am a Christian and I believe what the Bible tells me. I always try to be a good person because I want to go to Heaven when I die. I have been living with my uncle for quite a while. I have been on hard times and he was the only family I had left! Then, a couple of months ago, he got sick and sicker and died all of a sudden. I have been so worried about him because even though he was raised to believe in God, he didn’t always do the right thing. He was as good as he could be to me, but he wasn’t very nice to different people.

After crying about this so much and worrying all the time about what happened to him after he died, I had this dream:

I am sleeping on my uncle’s couch, like always. Suddenly, he comes into the room with me! I know that he’s dead, but there he is, as big as life! Anyway, he walked right past me with a big smile on his face. I sat up and watched him go toward the back of the house where he went through the kitchen and out the back door, but instead of the back yard, it was all sky, blue sky!

It felt so real and I woke up crying tears of joy! It looked like my uncle is happy and OK and that he went out the back door to Heaven! Can it really be true what I think it means?

Signed, Relieved

Dear Relieved,

You are among the legions of dreamers who have had just such dreams as yours — dreams of a deceased loved one who appears in a dream and “seems so real.” Dreamers report that these dreams have a quality of truth different from normal, surreal dreams. Even though the dreamer wants to believe that the dearly departed actually did appear in the dream, it’s almost too good to be true.

Dreams such as yours can be understood in many ways, as all dreams can. We could talk about your uncle as a representative part of yourself, for example.

However, given your state of mind, Dear Dreamer, and your deep concern over your uncle’s next life, it seems clear that this dream arrived to comfort you. In spite of his questionable choices in waking life, in your dream your uncle lives with a smile on his face, just as you hoped he could. Indeed, he found a back door to Heaven!

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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