IF YOU DREAM OF LOSING A BABY OR FORGETTING ONE, leaving it behind or in danger, you likely are ignoring your deepest spiritual needs and desires.

Dear SMYD,

You always say that it helps to understand a recurring dream if you make a note of when you have it, how you’re feeling and what’s going on in your life. Well, I haven’t made any notes, but I can tell you exactly when I have had this particular recurring dream over the years. It came up when each of my three children were born and at milestones in their lives. When they went off to kindergarten, or had their first sleepover. Sports or academic achievements, first loves, graduation, first apartments — I always made sure they were the best prepared and that we celebrated all those things.

I have always put my children first, so it’s especially hard to understand why I have this recurring dream at exactly the moment when I’m sacrificing everything for them:

In my dream I always leave the baby behind. It is set in different places but they are all similar in that I am at a crossroads or a threshold of some kind. Most recently, when my youngest asked me to help her plan her wedding, I was on the platform in a train station and the baby was somewhere in the crowd. I have to find her and I know this will make me miss the train.

These dreams are always so stressful! I wake up terrified at the way things are going.

Signed, Am I A Terrible Mom?

Dear Mom,

Jeremy Taylor, founder of the Marin Institute for Projective Dream Work and past president of the International Association for the Study of Dreams, says that dreams of leaving a baby behind are “classic” in their recurrence and “usually come to people who lead productive, responsible lives. (Such a dream) is all the more upsetting or distressing for precisely that reason.”

Without giving too many details, you reveal yourself to be in this high achieving category when you say that your children are always the best prepared for the milestones in their lives and that you take special care to celebrate all those events as they come. That’s a lot of focus and attention for the 18-year formative lives of three children!

You also mention that you sacrifice everything for them. Could it be that at each milestone for one of your children, some part of you — your aspiration or inner desire — was saying, “Hey — what about me? Looks like I’m being left behind again.” The infant in your dream may represent aspects of yourself that were neglected or ill-defined — misplaced or ill-attended in favor of the needs of your family.

Those actions over the years are noble indeed and your healthy, successful children are testimony to your sacrifice and skill as a parent. But perhaps now, Dear Dreamer, you can give that inner baby, the budding part of yourself, the attention it deserves.

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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