OUR DREAMS COME TO US in service of our health and well-being. That doesn’t always mean they tell us what we want to hear. But they always tell us what we need to hear. Today’s dreamer offers a perfect example, though she may not like it very much.

Dear Carolyn,

I have a friend whom I have questions about. I’ll call her “Margaret.” She is chairperson of a committee I have been a member of for over a year now. Generally we work well together, or so I thought. Margaret called me recently and asked me not to be so much of a leader in the committee! She said she doesn’t feel competitive with me, but why would she even bring it up otherwise? She said I should step back my style and just ask questions or the other members will start to resent me!

I have always been a conscientious member of this group. I pull my weight and do my best to help others. No one else has ever complained to me, or given me so much as a sideways glance. I think Margaret is jealous of me and feels I am a better leader than she is. I enjoy the work we do and the other committee members, but I often wonder if I should leave this group.

Now, my dream: Margaret and I are in a meeting. It looks like the United Nations. We are seated at opposite ends of a long table. Every time I try to say something, she interrupts me. I get angry and frustrated. And then I learn that she represents Sweden. She is a neutral country and has immunity from my complaints.

Signed, Frustrated Diplomat

Dear Diplomat,

Our dreams tell us the truth. What we do with that truth is another matter. Many times, when faced with a truth that we find unpleasant or counter to our prevailing beliefs, we just don’t want to hear it.

Such is the case with your dream, Dear Dreamer. It provides insights into your current situation and your relationship with Margaret that you may find hard to accept.

First, your dream has you seated opposite Margaret, signifying your oppositional relationship with her. Noteworthy is that both of you have power positions, at the ends of the table. In these positions, you might achieve a balance of power if your competitive natures could be softened.

Your dream is set at the UN, a place designed for peacekeeping. But it casts Margaret in the role of Sweden, so the message is clear even to you within the dream: She is not biased; she is neutral. You must consider this. Even if you are well-intentioned, you may be overstepping your bounds.

On the pragmatic side, she is immune to your accusations. Consider this carefully. It seems Margaret has the power in this situation. Take a deep breath and measure your response. You may choose to leave the group; or, if you stay, you must accept her leadership and a lesser role for yourself.

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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