DREAMS WITH ONLY ONE CENTRAL IMAGE OR ACTION can still reveal a wealth of information to a dreamer. Today’s dream focuses on one image and one action, but tells the dreamer a lot about where she is — and where she needs to go.

Dear SMYD,

I have always owned up to my mistakes and apologized if I hurt someone else. I only wish everyone did the same!

I’ve been single for quite a while, almost six years, after a very bad marriage and a terrible divorce. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve made a thorough assessment of my part in that failure. I have been working on myself, trying to let go of old hurts and grudges. That’s not easy either, since my ex has never said ‘sorry’ for any of the cruel things he said and did when we were married. He just blames me for everything.

Anyway, I want to try again for another relationship, but I can see right through the men I’ve met. I don’t trust any of them! Maybe that explains why I dreamed about my ex. Tell me what you think of this dream:

Something is irritating me on my left side. I raise my arm and look down to see that I have a splinter. I dig at it with a needle, and douse it with alcohol. Then my ex is there trying to tell me how to do it! Just like always! Finally, I get a hold of the splinter with tweezers. It starts to come out and I see that it is buried very deeply in my side. When it finally comes out, it is nearly six inches long!

Signed,

Still Being Hassled by My Ex

Dear Hassled,

Your dream suggests that you are still affected by the unhappy experience of your “very bad marriage and terrible divorce.” Those after-effects are depicted as the thorn in your side, the splinter, which is buried deep and difficult to extract, in spite of the thorough effort you say you’ve made. Your comment regarding seeing through all the men you meet is indicative of the deeply ingrained attitude that you’re harboring.

Perhaps you are justified in your distrust, but nevertheless it hinders your ability to give a man a chance to prove himself different from your ex.

The fact that your ex is coaching you suggests that you may be doing the same thing he is guilty of: blaming. This bitter outlook will only continue to hold you back. The splinter is nearly 6 inches long, and you are single now nearly six years. How much longer will you fret with your anger over an unfair and painful marriage, Dear Dreamer?

How much longer will you allow it to dig at you? You’re not dousing your anger with alcohol, are you?

Seek out the advice of a trusted friend or counselor and learn strategies to help you let go of your antagonism. Only then will the irritation subside, making way for a pain-free, happier, more open you.

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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