Perhaps the most frequent questions I receive are about recurring dreams. They are common and can be frustrating and even frightening. Many people find that when they have ‘that dream’ again, the emotional effects carry over into their waking life for a day or two, tinting the dreamer’s mood with the tone of the dream.
Today’s dreamer offers an example that helps illustrate the impact of recurring dreams and the value of plumbing their meanings.

Dear Carolyn,
I started having this dream about a year and a half ago, just about the time I retired. The details are a little bit different every time, but it’s the same dream. I always wake up from it feeling stressed and anxious, even a little panicky. Here’s the way it goes: I might be out shopping or just driving somewhere. Sometimes I’m not even aware of where I am, but suddenly I realize that I’ve lost my wallet. I am so afraid and unhappy! I am angry that I left it unattended with so much money in it. I even keep a lock of my grandson’s hair in it! That is irreplaceable. How could I be so careless?
I’m supposed to be enjoying this new phase of my life, but this dream is driving me crazy! Please help me understand what it means.
Signed, Youthful Retiree

Dear Youthful,
One helpful clue that is evident in the scenario you present is the timing of your dream. It began just when you retired and recurs, spoiling your enjoyment of retirement. Couple this with the likelihood that your wallet – the repository of your ID (your identity) and so many of your valuables (the things you hold dear) – represents the importance you placed on your work. Indeed, your self worth may be dependent upon it.
Also, you say that you are angry with yourself for leaving something so prized, and again, that you are unable to enjoy your retirement because of this recurring emotional reminder. Could it be that you have retired a bit too early, Dear Dreamer? If you have the recurring sensation that you’ve lost your identity, or that you’ve left something so extremely valuable behind, your dream is drawing this to your conscious attention.
It can be most helpful to make a note of the dream whenever you have it along with the events of your waking life that surround the recurrence. Soon you will discover that your waking life is triggering the dream. Does it come when you are ‘wasting time’? Maybe there are opportunities for you to use your hard-won expertise to mentor the young people who follow in your footsteps – symbolized by that lock of your grandson’s hair.
For those of us whose self-worth is intertwined with our work, retirement without meaningful occupation can be difficult. This recurring dream will leave you once you find an avocation that meets your need to contribute and be valued.
Sweet dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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