A DREAM OF MARRIAGE offers a wide range of applications to the dreamer’s waking life. It could be speaking almost literallyabout the current state of the dreamer’s relationship with her spouse. On a metaphorical level, marriage in a dream can refer to commitment, or lack of it, to one’s self and one’s goals.

Dear SMYD,

I have heard many times about the seven year itch in a marriage. Well, “James” and I have been married almost 10 years now! But really, I am very happy and can’t think of too much that I would change. Our life may not be exciting, but it is secure and comfortable. So maybe the dream I had is just idle fantasy or wishful thinking. I feel kind of disloyal even having the dream, let alone talking about it! I do have a silly crush on Justin Timberlake, but it’s nothing. James and I joke about it all the time.

Anyway, here’s the dream:

Justin Timberlake wants to buy me a new wedding ring. I am flattered but also embarrassed to even be in the conversation with him! Justin is very persistent and I keep telling him, “No, I don’t need a new ring and I’m happily married.”

But the next thing I know, Justin gives me a new ring anyway. It is beautiful — made with lots of diamond baguettes. I have to admit that I like the ring and even though I still feel funny about it, I decide to accept it. Then I see that it doesn’t have a central diamond like most wedding sets have. The ring’s mounting prongs are sticking up and empty!

One last thing: In real life, since we were first engaged, James has always said he’s going to buy me a bigger diamond someday.

Signed,

Justin Timberlake Fan

Dear Fan,

Something’s missing for you and your dream offers a couple of options to consider. First let’s think about Justin Timberlake. You don’t mention specific things about him that attract you, but let’s say it’s his talent, his energy, his love of life. Consider those as traits that you, yourself might want to commit to, but don’t. Your dream may be suggesting that you have a talent or energy that is yearning for an outlet, tempting you with a new ring that you admit you like, but accept uncomfortably. Have you allowed your love of life to languish for lack of commitment or discomfort at stepping out of your routine?

On the other hand, your dream may reflect the idle fantasy you mention as regards your relationship with James, symbolized in waking life by the bigger diamond he promised you. Perhaps in spite of feeling secure and comfortable, you are longing for that ‘upgrade’ your circumstances have not delivered. The fairestapproach would be to review your relationship and ferret out any shreds of complacency or inertia on your side. Be honest with yourself, Dear Dreamer. It isn’t solely James’s job to keep yourlife interesting.
Sweet Dreams to You!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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