RECURRING DREAMS MAY SEEM PESKY, but they can be a valuable source of insight for a dreamer’s forward progress. A key to zeroing in on the meaning is to note when the dream recurs. What’s going on in your waking life when a repeating dream pops up?

Dear Carolyn,

I know I’m in a rut, but do my dreams have to be in a rut too? It would be helpful if they were more inspiring instead of just repeating the same old thing over and over! Here’s the background:

Jim and I were married for nearly five lackluster years. He epitomized the term Type A. When he got home from work he would glance nervously at the ceiling in search of new leaks; then his gaze would turn to the stack of newspapers to recycle, making sure they were neatly aligned. A typical evening with him might include a dinner comprised of oatmeal topped with wheat germ and some serious shoe-polishing, followed by tallying up the monthly receipts to determine how much I owed him!

If anyone needed to drink, it was Jim, but unfortunately he gave it up years before we met. His hobbies were dieting, flossing and hypochondria.

After I announced to him and the counselor that the marriage was over, I couldn’t stop smiling to myself all the way home — it was the best decision I ever made.

So why on earth does he appear time after time in dreams to reunite with me? The scene always unfolds on the grounds of a vast condominium complex, not unlike where we lived. I am delirious with joy knowing he’ll arrive soon and we’ll be blissfully together again, ‘til death do us part.

Signed, Been There, Done That

Dear Been There,

You mention that you are in a rut. Chances are, your dream of Jim and all his foibles recurs when you, yourself, are repeating self-defeating — or as you say, lackluster — behaviors that keep you mired in the repetitive, the negative or the unnecessary. Per your description, Jim was too focused on the minutiae to experience the greater possibilities around him. Could it be that you let yourself do the same?

One way to know for sure what your dream insists on telling you is to make a note of what is happening in your waking life when it recurs. Does it come at a time when you are denying yourself more enriching activities because of your own versions of flossing, shoe shining or hypochondria — things that could be relegated to a smaller corner of your consciousness and a smaller percentage of your time?

Take a hard look at yourself, Dear Dreamer. This dream does not recur simply to leave you puzzled as to your past relationship. More likely, it’s pointing out that you hold yourself back with a similarly narrow view of what your life is and what it can be. Remember, when you broke away from that pattern before, it was the best decision of your life.

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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