RIGHT BEFORE DYING, many people experience vivid and meaningful dreams and visions, according to accounts across cultures and throughout history, as well as current research conducted among patients in hospice care.
Dear SMYD,
My grandmother passed away recently. I got to spend a lot of time with her in her final weeks and enjoyed it so much. We reminisced about her life and I got to know her in that short time better than I ever had before.
She told me about dreams she had as she got closer to the end. Mostly they were about my granddad, who passed away eight years ago. She always seemed very happy when she told me about these experiences, like they were not “just dreams.” But she had an upsetting dream too, about the terrible car accident that she survived but that killed her friend many years ago.
I know she is at peace now, but I can’t help wondering about dreams like hers. Do elderly or dying people have different dreams from the rest of us?
Signed, Grieving Granddaughter
Dear Grieving Granddaughter,
The time you spent with your grandmother before her passing will be yours to treasure forever. It’s wonderful you were so close.
A new study reported in American Journal of Hospice & Palliative Care found that it is common for dying patients to dream of family and friends who have gone before them, and that most of these dreams “bring about a sense of peace, a change in perspective or an acceptance of death.” They conclude that “medical professionals should recognize dreams and visions as a positive part of the dying process.”
The study adds that “as patients approached death, they tended to transition from dreaming about living people to dreaming about the dead. …The overarching theme that emerged from the study was that end-of-life dreams and visions are a source of comfort.”
Your grandmother’s dreams fit perfectly into the patterns found in the study. It’s normal, even expected, that those approaching death would begin to dream about deceased loved ones waiting for them on the other side.
As patients move toward death, they often have realistic and memorable dreams in one or more of six categories, according to the study. Your grandmother’s upsetting dream of the auto accident seems to fit Category #5.
1. Comforting presence: A loved one — often deceased but sometimes living — offers solace.
2. Preparing to go: Patients ready themselves for a journey.
3. Watching or engaging with the dead: Deceased friends and relatives play a significant role, which patients overwhelmingly reported as being comforting.
4. Loved ones waiting: Deceased friends often seem to be “waiting.”
5. Distressing life experiences: Patients may revisit traumatic life experiences.
6. Unfinished business: A few patients report distressing dreams that center on fears of being unable to accomplish important tasks.
Take comfort, Dear Dreamer. Your grandmother’s dreams helped her make the transition to the next life.
Sweet Dreams to you!
Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.
Reg Page says
Thank you Carolyn. I hope your article generates a response from others who have had experiences themselves or know others who have. I can say from my own that there are some things that I cannot explain. In any case, despair should not be inevitable for anyone as they get closer to the end.