OUR DREAMS MAY PRESENT US with shocking and gruesome images to shake us out of our passive thinking. Today’s dreamer cannot ignore the ugly truth of her feelings about the important differences between her boyfriend and herself.

Dear Carolyn,

My boyfriend and I are planning on getting an apartment together that I’m not really too excited about. For one thing, I’m more conservative on the whole, but he just wants to spend it all as soon as he gets it.

We always argue; it’s literally a love/hate relationship. Whenever I did have this dream I felt terrible. We may fight and all, but I don’t wish any harm on him.

I was basically kicking it with this guy with an unfamiliar face; we were in my bed sitting. He was on his computer while I was watching him. Eventually we were arguing about money. I ended up killing him by chopping his head off (to take his money).

When his head fell, his face turned into my boyfriend. I covered the face up and threw everything in the closet. The eyes were still showing. He woke back up from what I did and he was just looking at me. He started talking about how could I do this. Then I started to gouge out his eyes while he looked at me doing it! I told him “I don’t want you to have a bad memory or to be bitter about women.” That was the final straw, my body finally let me wake up.

The whole time I could not wake up! Finishing a dream never happens, but this time it did. What does that mean? I literally woke up after I stared at him for a few seconds with his gouged eyes. Please help me understand. The whole time the dream didn’t have anything to do with him, but then the unfamiliar face turned into him — why? Why am I dreaming about murdering my boyfriend? What does all of this mean?

Signed, Love/Hate

Dear Love/Hate,

There is no need for you to worry about taking your dream literally — you’re not going to kill your boyfriend! But your dream does spring from the depth of anger you feel over the important, fundamental difference between you two.

With its graphic images, your dream suggests that you’d like to cut off your boyfriend’s way of thinking (his head) and gouge out his way of looking at things (his eyes). This is about the money you’re arguing over in the dream and based on your conservative ways versus his free-spending ways. You want to pretend everything is OK and hide your differences and your anger in the closet, but you cannot escape it! It’s there — a fact of life with him.

No wonder you’re “not too excited” about getting an apartment with someone with whom you always argue, Dear Dreamer. Consider the life/situation you might be getting into! It’s easier to do than to undo!

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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