WHEN WE TRAVEL WITH SOMEONE IN OUR DREAMS, that person likely represents how we travel through our daily lives. Think of that person’s prominent personality traits. Chances are they are yours too, for better or worse. Today’s dreamer offers a clear example for our purposes.

Dear Carolyn,

“Mary” is the smartest person on my staff. We have worked together over five years now. I see her as working too hard at her job, to the point of endangering her mental health, her optimism and happiness. She doesn’t have many friends on staff and seeks out my company. She likes to help me think my actions through and dissect possible outcomes. She can be helpful.

The down side of this is when she takes it to the extreme. She overanalyzes my decisions and nitpicks my performance as the boss. She can be pretty negative and pessimistic.

Now I’m dreaming about her! In the dream, Mary was taking me to a Mensa meeting — the high-IQ people. It was a hassle to get there as we were at work and it was an extremely busy day. When we got there, the meeting seemed to have no purpose. The members were socializing, but not much more. I felt frustrated at the waste of time. I challenged them to define a purpose for their meeting. Then, instead of feeling rested, I woke up feeling frazzled, just like I do at work!

Signed, Me and My Shadow

Dear Me,

Traveling companions in our dreams, those we move with from place to place, frequently are stand-ins for ourselves. They show up as metaphors for facets of ourselves that come to the forefront in the circumstances of the dream. These are also the circumstances of our waking lives.

In your dream Mary provides a representation of you: the perfectionistic, worrying and nagging part that goes everywhere with you. You don’t use the term, but Mary is a complainer, too. You may not complain externally, but check the way you talk to yourself, Dear Dreamer. Such a persistent and negative internal dialogue runs the risk of ruining your good humor and happiness.

A nice way of saying it is that Mary represents the part of you that is intelligent and always seeking improvement. The blunt way is to say that you can be a pain in your own neck!

The fact that the Mensa meeting had no purpose is telling. If you put your brains to a purpose, you can accomplish great things. But pointless analysis and worry is worse than pointless — it’s self-destructive. Your dream suggests that by keeping company with a “Mary state of mind” you run the risk of endangering your mental health, optimism and happiness.

Consider limiting the time you give Mary in waking life. It may be social for her, as she appreciates your intelligence and has few other friends in the workplace. And you must also limit the time you give to that critical voice in your head. You’re smart, but you’re wasting time spent on criticism without a purpose.

Sweet Dreams to you!

Carolyn Plath, M.Ed., is a Benicia resident and member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams. Reach her at sendmeyourdreams@yahoo.com.

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