These were written by a child living with her old Aunt Millie. She wrote a list of rules that should be followed based upon her observations, here they are:
1 Do not suck in soup or other liquids.
2. Do not chew with your mouth open.
3. Don’t talk while you are chewing.
4 Try to avoid sleeping with relatives.
5. If you do sleep with them, avoid sleeping in the same bed.
6. Arrange things so you don’t have to get up in the night to use the potty.
7. Put your belongings where you can find them.
8. Keep up with the times.
9. Develop interests to entertain yourself.
10. Change your clothes often.
11. Do not speak in a trembly voice.
12. Do not act cute.
13. Do not go off into long harangues.
14. Avoid telling the same stories over and over.
15. Don’t talk about your anatomy.
16. Don’t talk about your health.
17. Don’t talk about your hobbies continually.
18. Look for aversions people have around you.
19. Do not be self-pitying.
20. Don’t be a stick-in-the mud.
21. Be helpful without forcing yourself on people.
22. Don’t talk about the past or your dear deceased.
23. Carry a handkerchief at all times and never use your finger.
24. Don’t get right up in peoples’s faces when you talk.
25. When you make up your will, don’t continually change it.
26. Keep clean.
27. Don’t haunt parties.
28. Don’t butt into family arguments.
29. Remember-you have had your life.
30. Stop short of murder to get attention.

Reading this list inspired me to add another entry:
31. Keep your tongue in your mouth.

Based upon an observation of a dear friend of mine who puts the tip of his tongue in the corner of his mouth when he uses his iPhone and jiggles it- the tongue that is- I have come to the conclusion that this is unattractive. I remember kindergarteners using their wiggle tongue when deeply concentrating on a project or my dog sticking his tongue out when he was hungry– so cute. But in thinking this through, I personally think the tongue is rather ugly.  It belongs in one’s mouth.
I do have a great deal of respect for that organ as it helps us in so many ways. It helps us with taste, digestion, speech and enhances our kisses. Truly it doesn’t get its proper acknowledgment. Can I help it if the human adult tongue is rather ugly?
It has abilities to twist and turn and fold and could be compared to the acrobats in Cirque du Soleil.  In Tibet, sticking out your tongue is a way of greeting people.  In many cultures, eating tongue is a delicacy.
I haven’t yet studied other people’s thoughts on the matter.  Questions arise about amphibian, reptile and bird tongues as compared with those of mammals. I do think tongue study will open up a whole new area for Ph.D. students who are in search of a topic for their thesis.
I have gotten in trouble for sticking my tongue out at someone that was teasing me.  So for me, my conclusion is that the tongue– my tongue– will maintain its honorable place between my teeth as it continues a life of service.

Ellen Blaufarb is a marriage family therapist.

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