My dear friend, Margery, was drawn to move back to Los Angeles because her children live there. Margery admits that she hates Los Angeles.
’Twas a lovely spring day in Southern California with temperatures in the low 80s when we began our tour of the city. I was determined to get Margery to fall in love with her city again. I wasn’t entirely clear as to whether she ever loved it when she lived there for 33 years prior to Benicia. However, I don’t give up easily once I set a mission. And “mission” was a good name for it because some of the loveliest homes we encountered were Spanish architecture.
In that Margery was our tour guide, I was noticing that I had little to say, a novelty for me. She was showing us the magnificent old buildings in downtown L.A.- the library, the post office and the train station. She pointed out the neighborhoods- Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, Thai, Filipino, Korean, Salvadoran and Jewish. She circled around to the parts of L.A. that were divided by location- Silver Lake, Eagle Rock, Hollywood, Beverly Hills and Westwood. There are approximately 200 notable districts in Los Angeles.
She told me the names of vegetation that grows prolifically- especially bougainvillea, Jacarunda trees, succulents, flowering cacti and nasturtium- a world of vibrant color.
We ended our tour at a Jewish deli- Factors- that I remembered from a prior visit. She loved the
vast offerings and we all ordered different dishes and tasted each others choices.
We spent several hours on the road that glorious, shiny day and we hadn’t even gone to Griffith Park, the Observatory or the Guggenheim.
I still don’t know if Margery fell back in love with Los Angeles, but I do know that I have a new way of thinking of Los Angeles. Yes, the traffic is horrendous. Yes, there are more homeless than ever before. Yes, there is crime. However, Los Angeles is a sprawling city of approximately 4 million plus people, and as cities go, I can see that it deserves to be loved.
So Margery read what I wrote (see above) and she states that her main problem with Los Angeles is of her own making.
“I keep comparing it to how it USED to be! For sure there was traffic, but there was a rush HOUR. It no longer matters when one hits the roads; they’re almost always packed.
“But the hipsters don’t notice because many are transplants or were a long way from being born in ‘the good old days’ when life was inexpensive, easy, and laid back.
“My main issue with myself is that I didn’t appreciate it then either because I didn’t know how it was going to get! It’s like looking at photos of myself when I was in my 20s and 30s. I had no clue how beautiful I was, nor what was waiting for me in my 70s and 80s.”
SO, there’s a lesson in this, don’t you think?

Ellen Blaufarb is a marriage family therapist.

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