MELISSA MICHAELSON, A TEACHER AT MARY FARMAR ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, is one of the best storytellers I know. I am going to try to retell one of her delightfully funny stories about handling disappointment.

Melissa’s lovely daughter, Cooper, brought her a pumpkin plant a few weeks before Halloween. Melissa became very excited about growing her own pumpkin — maybe even several pumpkins would manifest with her careful attention and appreciation. She watered the plant, making sure it had a sunny location, the best soil and the right amount of water. The plant cooperated and started to vine and produce tiny little pumpkin pods. Melissa was so excited. She began to imagine the largest pumpkins possible. She thought she could bring these gigantic pumpkins to school and share them with her students.

The vines were growing and growing. Melissa began to remember the children’s tale of Jack and the Beanstalk. What was even more tantalizing than the splendiferous green leaves were the tiny pumpkins. Unfortunately, the little pumpkins fell off the vine. Oh, well thought Melissa, I will just keep up my good work. She imagined the great jack-o-lanterns she would carve.

The vines were doing great, winding themselves around her trellises and really taking off, and there were the little pumpkins again. Yeah, she thought. And then they fell off the vine again.

Again she was hopeful and thought about the pumpkin pie she would surely bake for all her effort. She was sure the green vine would produce at least one fantastic pumpkin — but alas, once again there were little pumpkin teasers that fell off the vine.

At this point, Melissa gave up. She dragged the enormous vine over to the garbage bin and chopped it into bits. Melissa’s final line in her vignette was, “I have enough disappointment in my life to have to put up with the defeat I feel with my uncooperative pumpkin plant. Goodbye, pumpkin.”
Margery Prickett, former Benicia resident, now lives in Los Angeles. This is the tale she told me about her disappointment.

Margery was planning to do a major renovation on her home that would cost $21,000. It involved foundation work and a new bathroom. She was concerned about the huge expense. It just so happened that a gentleman showed up at her door who represented a new TV program that featured a young man operating a radio studio out of his garage. He was searching out a location for the series. Her house and the garage might fit the bill. Margery is very meticulous. When the man saw the inside of the garage, he was stunned, saying he had never seen a cleaner garage.

The man told her what would be entailed. She would need to leave her home for three months while they filmed and they would pay her $21,000. He told her he would get back to her in a week and that he was pretty certain they would use her home. Margery was beside herself with awe and sharing exclamations about miracles and can-you-imagines, so joyful at the prospect of her home being selected out of all the possibilities in Los Angeles. And then the call came, the man apologized and said they had chosen another residence. “Crash and burn” might be how others handled such disappointment, but Margery said, “I really enjoyed the excitement and the magic that my home was considered. I was on a high for a month.”

The movie “Nebraska” stars Bruce Dern as Woody Grant. He and his son, David, played by Will Forte, take a field trip from Billings, Montana to Lincoln, Nebraska to claim his million dollars from a scam aimed at getting people to purchase magazine subscriptions. The paper Woody carries says he has the winning number.

Everyone knows that the paper is a ruse, but Woody won’t believe anyone and is on his way one way or the other. His loyal, loving son, David, decides he is going to follow his father with his dream. Spoiler alert: Finally, they reach the downtrodden magazine office and Woody is given a hat for his efforts. David asks his father, “What did you want the money for anyway, dad?” Woody responds, “I wanted to leave my sons some money after I’m gone. And I’ve never had a new truck.” David tries to reason with his father, saying he doesn’t even have a driver’s license anymore.

His dad is crushed. Finally, the movie brings us to the surprising, charming ending. David buys his father a truck, trading in the vehicle that took them on their journey. Back in Billings, he tells his father to take the wheel. His father is joyous as he drives down Main Street waving to all his cronies.

We can handle disappointment by getting rid of the annoying obstacle or appreciating the excitement of the possibilities, but is there anything better than having someone who loves you helping you realize your dreams?

Ellen Blaufarb is a marriage family therapist and mentor at Liberty High School. She can be reached at meblau@sbcglobal.net.

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