This is the second and last in my series of pet peeves. Although I might at some time have to add to my litany of complaints.
I hit the roof, found the end of my rope, couldn’t take it anymore and was generally ticked off when I saw the video of a 100-year-old woman who was able to twist herself into a pretzel during her yoga classes and yes, she was ballroom dancing- tango, salsa, jitterbug etc.
It is difficult enough when one hits an age where arthritis kicks in and you are hurting, aching or in terrible pain. Do we who are trying not to moan, groan, complain, yelp or sob have to be reminded that we are not doing our aging correctly? If only we had exercised more, eaten less or gone vegan, we would be doing pretzels with our bodies and gloriously slide around the ballroom.
There really is something to be said for genetics, normal aging, being less mobile, slowing down and I wish I didn’t feel guilty for not exercising more, eating less and staying vegan.
My latest experience with “the ends some of us go to’’ to look powerful in our aging has to do with my recent hip replacement. I expected to be up and about in two weeks. It has been six months, and I still have days where I am hobbling and very uncomfortable. However, the many stories of people who were up and at ‘em in two weeks after surgery abound. Even though my surgeon was impressed when I showed up with only a cane six weeks after surgery and not a walker, it did not appease my sense of not healing fast enough.
Then enter my physical therapist, Mark at Kaiser, who takes no prisoners. That tough though kind man kept telling me I was doing great. Even when he told me I had graduated magna cum laude, I was not satisfied. I wanted to be summa cum laude.
I don’t think I am alone in this. In the P.T. gym, there was a woman who had her knee replaced and was complaining that she hurt because she overdid it in the garden. Then there was a gentleman who had both knees replaced at the same time. Everyone was congratulating him in his social world on how much he was able to do so soon after surgery. He was on the mat next to me moaning because his knee had flared so badly that Mark told him he was not to walk until the swelling subsided, which could take weeks.
So I ask you, can we be a little more gentle with ourselves as we age? Even though my Uncle Leo at 104 and the yoga maven are to be applauded, they unfortunately are among the blessed of us. For those of you that know Kathy Larippa, you know her amazing devotion to health- yoga, vegan and healthy weight. That puts her in this class of extraordinary.
I guess I am extremely impressed by those that exceed all expectations for their age, and they are truly to be admired. I personally will not be in that class of marvels, and I want to learn to be at peace with that reality. I wish the same for the rest of you who are not in the summa cum laude group.

Ellen Blaufarb is a marriage family therapist.

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