By Ken Paulk

IT’S ALMOST TIME FOR THE first-ever Benicia Main Street “Great Bowls of Chili” competition at the Clock Tower on Feb. 18. Yours Truly is the Official Emcee and I promise a great time for everyone.

We have lined up live music, dancing, spirits, pretty people and a whole lot of chili. Speaking of chili, we have confirmed the following contestants: First Street Café, Benicia Yacht Club, A Taste of Life Catering, Benicia Soroptimist Club, Wild Fire Catering, Pizza Pirate, Go Plate Lunch (Rookies) and the Benicia Chili Heads “S” Street Gang. We expect more to come. When you visit you favorite restaurant this week, ask them if they have entered.

(See below for contest details.)

We’re also expecting Sailor Jack’s, Kinder’s, Randy’s, Union Hotel, Pappas, Char Hot Dogs, Sandoval’s, The Rellik, Venticellos and Issy’s. Please thank those who I’ve mentioned that have confirmed and ask those not yet confirmed to show up and join the competition. What better bragging rights could one have after placing in this almost famous event?

So, polish your boots, get into your favorite duds, get some Big Texas Hair working and we’ll see you on the 18th.

Oh, yes, I might even teach you how to line dance …

What Makes Up a Chili Cook-off

This is an excellent question which I’m sure most readers have waited years to hear the answer to. Well, I’m here to break it down in the simplest form for all you cowpokes to understand.

First, you have to find a date that works for all. The weather should be clear but crisp, which supports a hot bowl of chili. The 2012 Farmer’s Almanac is a great tool if you believe in such things as groundhog watching. I think we have this nailed on the 18th of February.

Then it’s about location, location, location. You’ve heard this your entire professional career and nothing could be better than our selection of the Clock Tower. We have plenty of room for the contestants, the folks who will attend, the band and a whole lot of dancing and fun.

Prizes and bragging rights will make or break any event. I make fun of those “Best in County” or “Best in This or That Class” when all it represents is “phone blanketing.” If there was a “Best in Class 2011 Barbecue” I guess I could have called in a couple of thousand times and voted for myself. Nah, I just think I’ll let my cooking speak for itself, and let your taste buds do the judging.

What better bragging rights could you have than a trophy on your mantel or up in your Cowboy Room for all to see?

A live band, plenty of room, great eats, responsible spirits and a whole lot of people mixed together promise a great time for all. Ask your favorite restaurant to contact Nancy at Benicia Main Street if they haven’t signed up.

Beans and Ribs

Texas-style beef ribs with a side of Magic Beans sounds good for my usual Friday home smoking event.

Over the past couple years or so, great beef ribs have become harder to find. Why is this, you ask? We’ll it’s because all those fancy restaurants making bone-in ribeyes, cutting into our inventories.

Speaking with Mike at Safeway last week, I learned that the only time he culls out ribs is when boneless prime ribs are put on sale. Now this is really smart and profitable for any meat-cutting establishment.

Say you take a bone-in full rib roast, which sells for $9 a pound, cut out the bone, move the price up to $11 a pound and then put the ribs on sale for $2.98 a pound. Rib meat is great, but if you could scientifically remove each morsel of meat from the bone, weigh it, then take the slab price divided by the net of meat taken, it would be about $25 a pound.

But who’s counting (Bob Langston) when the end result tastes soooo good?

OK we need two racks, seven bones each, as fresh as possible. Ask your local butcher to give you a call when he/she’s culling some. I want you to make some great rub consisting of black pepper, smoked paprika, ground mustard powder and some cayenne pepper. Rub the bones down, wrap in plastic and place back in the fridge for four hours.

Over a low to medium heat with water pan between fire and meat, allow these great ribs to smoke using five chunks of hardwood for the next three hours or so.

While the ribs are smoking, you’re almost halfway through cooking your beans. The night before, you fried eight slices of maple-cured bacon which will be crumbled and put in the beans later on. With the grease still hot, mix in one large chopped white onion and stir fry for about five minutes. Mix in 2 pounds of lean ground beef and let it simmer for a half hour or so.

Transfer the cooked onion and beef mixture to a large pot and add in six cans of your favorite beans along with a bottle of hot sauce, one cup of brown sugar, some apple cider, garlic powder, more chili powder and a touch of sea salt. Place this back in the fridge.

When you put the ribs on, take the beans out of the fridge and place in a slow cooker. Set your timer to slow simmer for the next three hours. With ribs slow smoking and beans a-cookin’, the aroma will drive the neighbors crazy with envy.

Let’s Eat

With ribs just right and a full pot of Magic Beans, let’s watch some basketball with a great slice of jalapeño corn bread, a couple of ribs and a bowl of beans. Ummm, there is a little bit of heaven right here in Benicia.

It’s A Date

OK all you Benicians and friends of the city — we hope to see you at the Clock Tower on the 18th. Dancing, romancing and such will be in order with great eats and fun for all. Get your tickets now from Benicia Main Street or call me and I’ll make arrangements to drop some off for ya!

Cowboy Advice about Hard Work

“A real Cowboy ain’t afraid of any hard work. He can lay right down beside it and go fast to sleep.”

Adios.

CONTEST DETAILS

The chili contest will run Feb. 18 from noon to 4 p.m.

Proceeds go to Benicia Main Street, which will use them to stage other city events. Ticket prices: Adults: $15 Presale/$20 Door; Kids (under 10): $8 Presale/$12 Door.

Tickets are available at Benicia Main Street, 90 First St., or online at: http://www.BeniciaMainStreet.org.