DEAR BENICIANS AND BEYOND,

What started out as a sleepy, drizzly Sunday turned out to be a day of fun-filled activities. I woke up around 4:30 with the good intentions of getting my Goat from storage and somehow getting it as well as the Beast (barbecue smoker) downtown in time for the kickoff. However, I came to my senses and decided I couldn’t do both. It was an easy choice as I would always pick barbecue over rods any day. So the Goat stayed home and I headed down to Rookies with the Beast securely fastened to a Harley trailer.

After making a couple turns on Second and Military and noticing it didn’t fall off, I was well on my way to a day of fun and adventure.

Seventeen participants started showing up at the Rookies parking lot around 6 a.m., and they came in all shapes and sizes. There were small Webers, Green Eggs, Costco Eggs, elaborate homemade nuclear-looking smoker drums, big rigs, Pig Rigs (Bay o’ Pigs), cast-iron contraptions, wood pellet smokers — you name it. Tents started popping up, lawn chairs unfolded, tables were set up and folks began to settle in for a day of great weather, food and drink.

Get Ready, Get Set, GO!

We had our first meeting around noon to go over the rules and score sheets. The Benicia High School football players were in charge of being at the tables and picking up three ribs of the participants’ choice for the judges. Ribs used this year were St. Louis, which is not my favorite to smoke. I’m more of a Louisiana or baby back type guy and it must have shown as I came in dead last. More about this later.

Around 9, everyone was set up and the grills were running hot. There was so much smoke in the air that I thought for sure we’d get the air quality folks after us. I ran around making sure each team knew their draw number and their time to have the ribs ready for the judges. I want to give Tom from the Benicia High School football team a shout out as he and his team did a great job making sure they were at each contestant 5 minutes prior to pickup time, reminding them to be ready.

At 1:30 we had a team meeting, with judges announced and rules reviewed. Remember, this was all in the spirit of raising money for the Hemophilia Northern California Chapter and Benicia High School sports. Over the past two years, we’ve raised more than $28,000 and planned to add another $10,000 to that total, weather permitting.

The judges — Mark, Angela and Nick — settled in around 1:45 with bottles of water and crackers. All were pumped as I took their picture, knowing when I came back in 90 minutes and looked at their faces after chowing down on 17 ribs, they may not have that same look.

At 2 p.m. sharp Tom and his team were at the tables and on their way to the judge’s table. We moved the table around front to face First Street, out of sight of the participants. I checked in every so often to make sure they were doing OK, and as I expected after 60 minutes of chewing the face of enthusiasm was taking on a new face, more like one of, “Oh my gosh, how many more?” On my last trip, I asked how they were doing, and Mark Hughes shouted out, “Five more to go.” As we narrowed down to the last few, the face of enthusiasm returned, not because of excitement but because they were almost finished.

What Makes a Winning Rib?

That is a very hard question to answer. I thought I had it nailed with my secret weapon called a blow torch. My idea was to slow smoke the ribs, apply sauce one hour before call time, then use my secret weapon 5 minutes before pickup. The secret weapon was an idea I notice at Ruth’s Chris Steak House a few years back. Using a torch, the server made a great caramelized dish using raw sugar and flame. Hmmmmm — so why not on ribs? I mixed my Area 51 sauce with raw sugar and wiped down the ribs. Using the torch, I carefully caramelized the top and sides, making sure I didn’t burn them. I tasted one and thought it was a marvelous touch. Well, it wasn’t, as I scored an all-time low of 160 points out of 270.

We had folks using everything from lump charcoal to real hardwood and I think I even saw a piece of siding from Rookies being used (not really but it sounded good). With great care and patience, the chefs tendered over their slabs like it was the last barbecue on Earth. I saw team members talking to their ribs and giving them rubdowns as if they were going into a world championship fight in Las Vegas. I, for one, was running out of gas, so I sat down, pulled out a great cigar and people watched until the contest ended.

And the Winners Are

Rob, Robin and I captured the score sheets and headed upstairs to tally them up and make the announcement. The highest score was 226, for ribs that hit home with all three judges, as their marks were almost identical. Second place came in with a score on 216 and third place had two groups at 210. The third-place winner was selected by how many 10s counted on the score card. It was 8 to 4, with the highest selected for third place.

Drum roll please …

Third place went to TEAM RAMA. I think these guys got confused as they had set up their rig in the first space near the street, looking like they were headed for a Raiders Game. Way too much fun was being had by this team, but they brought home the bacon with a solid third place, scoring eight 10s on their score sheet.

Second place went to the gent parked next to me who used some kind of a wood pellet burning stove/smoker. It was hard to figure out at first as I couldn’t tell if he was just using it to get warm or if there were ribs inside. Well anyway, SMOKE EB finished strong with 216 points. They not only did a great job smoking, but on a simple kettle barbecue grill laid down a great assortment of chicken and sausages, too.

And the winner was …

First place with a whopping 226 points went to the team named RACK HEADS and Chef Gabe Nahas. As I stated earlier, this must have been a great rack, as all three judges scored evenly across the board. Looking at last year’s winner, Rack Heads scored 8 more points — how about that.

After the winners were announced, I asked the team manager what his secret was. Two big bruisers named Guido and Carlo came from the tent and told me to move on as it was a proprietary secret and if I was told, I’d have to enter a witness protection program. Enough said about that.

In the Spirit of the Day

We had a couple of teams that may have taken this rib cookoff too seriously and didn’t like the results. Sorry you didn’t like the results and too bad we didn’t have a 17-way tie for first place, but for sure everyone went home a winner.

I also want to shout out a young gent who won $1,250 for drawing the lucky ticket at the 50/50 raffle. This gentleman was thrilled to death at having the winning number. To both Rob’s and my amazement, he turned around and donated back 50 percent of his winnings to the Benicia athletics and hemophilia groups that the cook-off supported. He didn’t want his name mentioned in the paper, but he didn’t say anything about not having his picure!

Gotta Git

Before I go, I want to give Rob, his family and the employees of Rookies a big shout out. I know a lot of good folks support many causes around our city and we’re very thankful. I pick no favorites and I support anyone and anything that will add to our city and its fine citizens.

The reason I chose to live here when I semi-retired is three fold: city services including police, fire and city employees who keep our town safe and clean; small-town atmosphere; and good citizens doing the right thing.

That’s it. Adios.

Ken Paulk is a Texas native and Benicia resident who writes a weekly barbecue column for The Herald.