GOD APPEARED TO NOAH And he bade him build an Ark He warned of dire catastrophe The future would be dark Noah asked, “How large my Lord?” And God said, “Build it big. “It has to hold all creatures of the Earth, both sheep and pig. “Two elephants, two antelope, two monkeys and two snakes. […]

EXTRA, EXTRA LISTEN UP This poem is interrupted Internet Explorer’s down Security’s corrupted Microsoft has always rushed To launch their product lines They must have missed some things I guess I’m paying all the fines Their patches are a little late I think it’s kind of funny They were always right on time To gather […]

Life is but a rodeo With many barrel races Requiring us give our best As we’re put through our paces Riding bulls and broncos As we try to pass each test And searching for the courage That resides within our chest I think that it’s a metaphor Of how because we’re free We set out […]

We live to die and that is why As living time expires My flames will turn to embers And give way to hotter fires I’ll recognize the lies I’ve lived My truth will be revealed The things that made me who I was Won’t need to be concealed Don’t bury me but burn the shell […]

WE KNOW MORE SPANISH THAN WE THINK And use it all the time Like, “Uno mas tequila.” And, “Cerveza con la lime.” To find a bathroom we would say When we have got to go “Donde esta el bano” (please) They point and then we know To ask someone we simply say The two words, […]

THE SOUP’S TOO HOT THE ENTREE’S TOO COLD The butter’s much too hard Fry my fish in butter I just hate when you use lard This year it hasn’t snowed enough For us to all go skiing The traffic’s always moving slow No breaks will we be seeing The cat’s too fat to run around […]

DID YOU EVER NOTICE When you sense something appealing You find yourself forever bent On hanging to that feeling It could be most anything That causes that sensation And turns a thing you try just once Into a huge temptation It could come from taste And sugar just might be involved You might detect a […]

THE WORLD IS FULL OF LOSERS But there are still a lot of winners We honor their accomplishments At fancy banquet dinners I’m sure that some are gifted And the others just work harder We lowly losers look in awe And wait our turn like martyrs It’s hard to stay on top and win Forever […]

A SIMPLE LITTLE HORMORE That resides in all our brains Has wreaked a lot of havoc And has wrecked a lot of trains The substance I’m referring to Is called testosterone When left unchecked adverse effects Historians bemoan Nazis, Huns, Napoleon Had bees inside their bonnets They charged ahead without remorse Testosterone’s what spawned it […]

MAYBE I’M THE ONLY ONE And everything I see Is just a test for me to take Made especially for me A giant unseen force it seems Has captured me to view To see the ways that I react As all the tests ensue The will I thought was free is just A figment of […]