HAVE I EVER MENTIONED TO YOU I WAS IN THE AIR FORCE? Yes, yes I have. Numerous times. In fact if you don’t know that by now you either don’t read my columns, or don’t read them very closely. Either way, don’t sweat it — I seldom take offense any more. There was a time […]
It Occurs To Me: Who the heck put sugar in my ketchup?
HI EVERYBODY, I’M JOHN G. — AND I’M A SUGARHOLIC. Like all of you, I’m embarrassed that I became addicted to this drug, and that it changed my life for the worse, and that I wasn’t strong enough to resist it. I guess I just didn’t exercise the personal responsibility necessary to use some self-control. […]
It Occurs To Me: Oh mighty ISIS!
HEY, DO YOU REMEMBER THE GULF WAR OF 1991? Remember how President Saddam Hussein of Iraq sent his army to invade his neighbor to the south, Kuwait? Those were simpler times, weren’t they? I mean, everything was so clear cut. Hussein was the bad guy, President Bush (not “W,” the actual presidential President Bush) was […]
It Occurs To Me: Skate devils
DO YOU EVER WATCH VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE? Of course you do, everybody does. Even those people who say they don’t, do. I watched a couple of YouTube videos just this morning — no big deal, right? Well, yes and no. You see, the videos I watched this morning were about me and my little brother […]
It Occurs To Me: I hate to camp
I HATE CAMPING. It’s dumb and the ground is too hard to sleep on in the summer, and too cold in the winter. Plus there’s stuff crawling on that ground in both seasons. Not that there’s anything wrong with that stuff — au contraire — the stuff totally belongs there. It’s me who doesn’t. I […]
It Occurs To Me: Grand theft at the Sprouse Reitz
I’M A THIEF — OR AT LEAST I ONCE WAS. Did you ever steal something? I mean really steal it — as in put it in your pocket and walk off with it — even though you knew full well it belonged to somebody else? Well I did (don’t judge me), and here’s how it […]
It Occurs To Me: Sorry
HAVE YOU EVER TAKEN SOMEONE FOR GRANTED? Of course you have — we all have. But have you ever taken someone for granted who was so close to you that you didn’t even realize you were doing it? And maybe you didn’t realize because they’d had your back for so long you lost sight of […]
It Occurs To Me: Blinded by the light
WHEN I WAS IN THE NEW HOME CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY, back when there was a new home construction industry, I led a different life than I do now. It wasn’t a life I had aspired to — more one that I’d wandered into. And, honestly, I was probably in a little over my head. But that […]
It Occurs To Me: Music of the immigrants
DO YOU REMEMBER THE SANDINISTAS? They were a rebel army in Nicaragua back in the ’70s and ’80s. If you’ll recall, their fight was against the ruling party of Nicaragua — the party of Anastasio Somoza. Somoza was the last of a family line of dictators who’d ruled the little Central American country since the […]
It Occurs To Me: The return of the 800-pound gorilla
YOU’RE PROBABLY FAMILIAR WITH THE PHRASE “Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.” Well I’ve got another one for you: “Be careful what you write because someone just might read it.” There are certain job-related hazards that go along with being a newspaper columnist. Sure, they’re not as bad as […]