By Steve Gibbs

I LAID MY MONEY DOWN. I couldn’t wait for Pin-a-Go-Go in Dixon later this month. I went ahead and bought my first pinball machine. Benicia’s Pinball Pirate, Chris Kuntz, brought it by last Tuesday and set up in my man cave.

Let me tell you, brothers and sisters, it is a pretty, colorful, bright, joyful addition to the room. It’s like a self-contained carnival of fun over in the corner, all lit up and chiming and dinging. I can’t help but smile each time I walk into the room and see it glowing with those buxom ladies painted on the backboard coaxing me closer to play.

Here are the stats: The game is called Joker Poker. It was built by Gottlieb in 1978, the same year I graduated from Penn State and moved to California. It was built right at the transition time between electro-mechanical and solid state construction. Joker Poker comes in both versions, and I purchased the newer, solid state version for $1,800. There were only 820 of the older electro-mechanical versions made before Gottlieb switched over and created 9,280 solid state units.

This game is a target-shooter’s dream machine. It has 15 drop targets, more than all but a handful of other games. One must do more than simply flip at balls whenever they are in range. One must aim. Also, one can’t simply aim at the same few targets ball after ball.

Joker Poker requires players to aim at different targets all around the playfield depending on the ball in play, which keeps the game interesting. Ball one must take out the 10. Ball two must knock down the Jacks, ball three the Queens, and so on. With each ball a new set of card targets is set on bonus points, so one has good reason to shift aim.

I’ve discovered that it’s virtually impossible to become an expert player and beat this machine on a regular basis. I won’t have to worry about becoming a pro and getting bored or scaring away my friends. “Ah, you can’t beat Steve. He rolls it over every time he plays.”

I can earn 350,000 points one game and then get skunked below 50,000 the rest of the evening. However, it takes only one or two busy balls to light up the 5X multiplier and get you back into free-game scoring range, so I never lose heart.

There is more interesting research on this game. It ranks 3 out of 100 in a measure of familiarity. It is one of the most uncommon machines out there. Of 7,437 members of the Vintage Arcade Preservation Society, only seven members own Joker Poker. The ones who do own it praise it profusely on the forums. It ranks 7.7 out of 10 in Fun Rating.

I especially like the theme: poker. I play poker. I wouldn’t want a machine glowing with pictures of KISS or AC/DC or Sylvester Stallone staring back at me in my man cave. That would creep me out. I much prefer the beautiful women in joker costumes throwing cards in the air.

One aspect I really like is its simple objective. Knock down 10, J, Q, K, A, win big points. Any family member or house guest can walk up to Joker Poker, understand it in a jiffy, and begin playing. Personally, I have the patience to read the lengthy instructions for the newer, more complicated loop-de-loop games, but my wife and grandkids and many of my friends are pinball challenged. They need an easy game. Jack, my 8-year-old grandson, played it all day Saturday and Sunday by himself. That is what I wanted.

I have been playing it every night before bed. It’s how I make myself sleepy right now. Susan and I usually watch a movie together, then she hits the sack and I hit the free-play button. I’ve probably played 200 games by now. It still draws me back for more, which is a good sign. I noticed when I was out of town this weekend that I found myself visualizing my developing bank shot to hit the Aces on ball five.

Still, the highest score I’ve made was back in the Pinball Pirate’s showroom in the Industrial Park the day I purchased my machine. Ten minutes after test playing Joker Poker for the first time, I scored 378,000 points. The closest I have got at home since that first day is 355,000. Thus I have unfinished business in my man cave.

People are already asking me if I’m going to buy another pinball machine. I do have room for it. Two machines would fit nicely in this spot. And it might be beautifully balanced to have this older one sitting next to a newer model so guests who are as ambivalent as I on favorite eras will have an older and a newer model to compare. I have themes in mind: fishing, whitewater rafting, billiards, or casinos. They say pinball machines retain their value. I’ve already seen a Joker Poker game for sale on eBay for $3,495. I haven’t been to Pin-a-Go-Go yet; I might just bring a checkbook. One never knows.

Do me a favor though. Don’t tell my wife.

Steve Gibbs is a teacher at Benicia High School and has written a column for The Herald for 28 years.